Glitch in the system

I know I've written this before but sometimes I need to be smacked over the head to slow down. I'm ready to go, move, do, get, find, raise money -- yup, that one's fairly new. I'm a girl on the move. I don't have time to do things like eat. And I do forget... frequently.

So I think I just got a reminder to slow down. A reminder that Melanie does not control anything really and it's to be left, safely in Gods hands. As silly as it sounds, and it sounds kind of ridiculous, my Facebook page has been disabled. I'm not exactly sure what it was that I did (my case is being "reviewed") but I think I posted too many times. I wasn't really sure that was possible but then again I am a rebel...

I use Facebook multiple times a day. Keeping up with my grandma, sharing goofy moments with my mom, staying in touch with my best girlfriends back home, and more importantly right now, it's the only way I keep up with my brothers in Iraq. Lately, as I'm sure most of you are aware, I've been using it to get the word out about Adam's thesis film - Sudden Death! (apparently Facebook is not to be used for self promotion)

But I think maybe I was getting a little too obsessive about the "checking." Who messaged me? What do they need? Do they want to know more about the movie? It's more mentally exhausting then anything. And now it's gone. I do miss it. I'm afraid of what I'm missing. That my brother might be on right now and I can't say hi. Or even just to know that for today he's online and safe. But it's made me take a hard look at an issue I've been avoiding. I'm not in control; God is. I can't fix the world. This film is going to happen regardless of how many times I check my Facebook and whether or not I update every hour on the hour. (yes, it was getting that bad) All I can do is my best. And obessiveness is not my best.

I do hope I get my Facebook page back. Right now every trace of me there is gone. But I hope that when I do get it back I'm a little wiser with my time and more protective of my heart. That I remember Who is in control... ps, it's not me.

So for all my friends out there, I'm sorry for just dropping off the face of the earth. I haven't deleted you or deleted myself. I guess I just needed to slow down.

www.suddendeaththemovie.com